WHAT IF MY PARTNER AND I DON’T AGREE ON OUR NEW KITCHEN CHOICES?

Jenny Cazares | Discovery Team | Dean Cabinetry
By Jenny Cazares

Earlier this week, there was a client meeting going on in our showroom, and I popped in to say hello. After introducing myself, I noticed a few pieces of cabinet hardware sitting on the island. I said “I love your beautiful hardware. Is that what you’ve chosen for your kitchen?”. One of the clients immediately said “Yes! It is the only thing we can agree on!”

..and the idea for this blog was born!  

Leah Dean

How do I get my partner to agree on my new kitchen choices?

  • Make their favorite meal, don’t forget dessert!
  • Light candles; setting the mood is important
  • “Pop” the bubbly, because you’re celebrating a new kitchen! 
  • Make a mood board; it’s easier to make choices once they’ve see it all pulled together
  • Reassure them that the end result will be beautiful!
  • Give a kiss and say, “thank you, goodnight dear”
  • For extra measure, a back rub wouldn’t hurt!

If only it were a perfect world, right? Well, this list of helpful ideas is actually pretty smart, I just need to elaborate a bit more.

When do I not discuss kitchen choices?

We all know the saying, “timing is everything”, so choose your time wisely when you’re ready to discuss kitchen selections. This is especially true when you know there will be resistance. 

Do not interrupt them during the Super Bowl, or when they come home exhausted from work. If you see small children clinging to their legs, and the house is a mess, this is also probably not a good time for a discussion regarding your new kitchen. 

When is the perfect time to discuss kitchen choices?

Wait until the weekend, when you both have down time. The less stress, the better the outcome for a sensible, thoughtful discussion. Hence, making a special dinner. Schedule some one-on-one time, without the kids, so you won’t have any interruptions or get easily frustrated.

People are just happier when they have a full belly, and they make better decisions!

Setting the right mood for a discussion is important, especially if you are about to be “thrown to the wolves” with objections! 

Make the space relaxing and carefree. Serve their favorite drink to help unwind, and tell them that you thought this would be a nice time to talk about your new kitchen design.

How should I prepare for the actual sit down discussion?

  • If your budget allows, meet with an interior designer, and have them create a design and mood board. Bring samples if needed. Create a vision of all elements together, so they can see the big picture. You can also create a DIY moodboard.
  • Do not overwhelm them with too many selections; narrow your choices. This is why a moodboard is so helpful.
  • Be happy with small goals, not everything has to be decided on the first go around. Save unresolved decisions for another nice evening together.
  • Keep good notes, once something is decided on. Move on, don’t bring it up again.
  • Thank them for agreeing to any of your choices. 
  • Reassure them that you’re a team, that you value their input, and that you want both of you to be happy with the end result.

What if we absolutely cannot agree on our kitchen choices?

  • Make a rule that you each can only elect their top two picks (ie. cabinet color, backsplash, flooring) and narrow your selections.
  • Put each person’s selections together and create a separate moodboard; each of you may more easily be able to decide once you see the choices altogether. Perhaps it is agreeable to both, perhaps it isn’t. Not everyone is great with design, they may say, “what was I thinking?” 
  • Keep the moodboards visible. Leave them in the kitchen where each of you can view them daily. This may cause the both of you to want to make adjustments. 
  • Decide to compromise, one person selects cabinet color, the other chooses countertops, etc.
  • Who’s the boss? No, really…in reality, who’s doing most of the cooking, hosting, and entertaining? Who decorates the home?  If you don’t cook at all, but your partner does it all….be more understanding of their needs.
  • Be open to blending ideas, if you like a timeless white kitchen and they like rustic, you can blend these together nicely with hardware and wood elements to make a beautiful kitchen.
  • If all else fails and neither one will submit, agree to meet with an interior designer with your top two selections of all your choices. Trust your designer to make the best design decision for your space, by incorporating both partners’ ideas.

At the end of the day, you both want the same thing, a beautiful new kitchen!

You may have to compromise, so be prepared, and remember, this is an exciting time. 

Together, you’ll be making lots of wonderful new memories with family and friends in your gorgeous new kitchen. Enjoy!

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